Happy Mothers Day

Sat writing this the night before Mothers Day and I am feeling anything but celebrating tomorrow.

Today Charlie, the normally angelic first born of mine has been an absolute devil. He has pulled tantrum after tantrum and just hasn't been his usual happy self. Hes reaching that age and stage of development where he is testing the waters and gets easily frustrated with not being able to do things he wants to.

On top of a very difficult 13 month old I am having 'one of those' pregnancy days. I feel fat, I'm so uncomfortable and I just want to be able to breathe properly!! Is that too much to ask? My heartburn is on fire and other lovely symptoms of pregnancy that we hate to discuss, are wrecking havoc with day to day life. Add that to a large baby that's using my bladder as a pillow and my rib cage as a spring board I am rather fed up.

But...

I wouldn't change being a mother at all. I love my first born, I love his unborn little brother and I love being Mummy.

Charlie may be getting easily frustrated and pulling tantrums but hes learning and pushing boundaries that we are firmly sticking to. I love watching him learn and he is picking things up so fast its scary. He has learnt that we 'fix' problems, we will open his toys and turn them on for him, he brings them to us and says 'ta' as he hasn't mastered 'please' yet but seriously the kid is 13 months his vocabulary is freaking amazing for his age! His tantrums may be hard to handle when we are in the middle of a busy shopping center but no one said parenting was easy.

I can't wait to meet his little brother, and as much as I am complaining right now about how big and uncomfortable I am, as soon as he is here I will miss being pregnant. I love feeling him kick and knowing that he is safe and happy snug tight in my belly. My pregnancy is going so well that I can't seriously complain at all about it, myself and Ben are extremely lucky to be able to conceive easily and I am extremely lucky to be able to carry them so well. This is something I feel incredibly lucky for every day.

Being a Mum is so hard, every day I question myself. Am I feeding him what he needs? Am I doing enough for my unborn baby? Am I playing with Charlie enough? Am I teaching him the right things?
These questions will only multiply the older they get, and all I can answer myself is 'I am doing the best I can' and that is all that matters.

I love my babies, I love being a Mummy. There is no better way to live.

Happy Mothers Day to all those troupers out there that may be feeling fed up too, but know they wouldn't change things for the world!!

Love, Ellie xo



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